Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
