I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
