I feel great
I just peed on a car
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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