I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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