garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
