you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
