Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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