She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
