Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
