How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The ass gains better be worth it
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