I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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