If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
