The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
