there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
