Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
