And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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