No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
