i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize