like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
do herpes really smell.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
