My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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