I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
