Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
