I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize