but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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