I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
