I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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