Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
