Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
