Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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