so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm always down for nudity.
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