I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
