I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
