He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
