You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
