lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
These tits shall not be calmed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
