after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
