if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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