And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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