Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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