Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
