We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
