i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
