My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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