My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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