You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
