whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
