Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
