I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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