Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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