What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
