My nipple is on Facebook.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
