dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
