Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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