My brain says no but my pants say off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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