just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
